Stuck in the Philippines

Social, but Distancing - March 2020

It is strange to be here with no other sailors around us.  We are lone rangers.  The limited internet connection we have, however, allows us to stay in touch with a group of sailors nearby at Busuanga Bay.  They write about their efforts to contact local farmers to arrange for produce delivery in the anchorage.  Here at the resort, they keep saying they have produce, but I feel bad asking them to sell us some of it, seeing as they need it to feed their staff and few stranded guests.  Yesterday, I finally broke down and asked if they had some table salt they could sell me.  It feels awkward and humbling to be somewhat dependent upon them.  We are trying to find ways to give back to them as well.

Yesterday when we went in, I brought a dress and a raincoat that Elizabeth grew out of, and Mark brought some pickling powder to help fix one of their watermakers.  I also packed up a mini pedicure kit, to provide a spa time for the female staff and the one guest.  They were thrilled with the idea, and it prompted us all to begin brainstorming ways we could pass the time together (adhering to the social distancing requirements, of course).  A bbq was planned for the following day, and we suggested a movie night - we’d provide the screen and projector and they’d supply the popcorn!

Hunger Games trilogy

That same afternoon, the resort food and beverage manager, Mark, packed up a cooler full of cold drinks and everyone kayaked to the hot springs for a happy hour.  What a luxury!

This all sounds exciting and social, but underneath it, I still am struggling to process everything.  No matter how life appears normal on the outside, fear inches in.  The fact that we are in a foreign country (a relatively poor foreign country) gnaws at my inner peace and my mind easily runs away with all the ‘what ifs’.  Social media certainly doesn’t help much - photos of empty shelves, stories of horrific medical experiences, and the sheer chaos and panic of it all.  I can see all the ways that God has protected us and provided for us.  It is truly awe-inspiring.  But my mind doesn’t want to stay in that place of rest and assurance.  Why do I automatically default to fear and anxiety?  Why does my human nature want so badly to worry and freak out?  So easily I can get spun up into a tornado of anxiety, but right now, I am asking that God spin me into a storm of serenity, of peace in the knowledge that He is still God.  I’m convincing my mind to lean into the truths found in Him and not focus on the unknown and the inconsequential.

My pondering place

“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Tim 1:7

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” Ps 56:3

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matt 6:34